I’m too impatient. I’m always in this nonsensical rush where everything is a race and I’m on the losing end, so I rush again to compensate not being on the damn finish line.
I’m slowly transgressing my odd ball energy and focus more on what’s matter for me. Taking it slowly, taking more time, more space. I used to be afraid of failing and now that the barrier was lifted, there’s no more filter to stop me from going after what I really want.
I think I have to lose in order for me to realized what’s at stake all along. I think it meant for me to take all these lessons of hurt before I can finally heal and I need to experience this, no matter how redundant it made me feel.
I now know that not everything is permanent, that what we may think our greatest feat are just building blocks for our characters to grow. These hurt, no matter how painful they are now will soon heal and all we need is time. The wounds turns scars, scars turns into beautiful trophy to reminds us that we did it, we surpass whatever insurmountable challenge life has painstakingly thrown at us.
We never really appreciate our resilience in times of crisis because we are so busy immersing ourselves with pity. We have to realize that although not everything has a purpose (and shit do happen for random reason and all-around bad luck) it made us who we are. Flawed we may think we are, we all have rooms for this world.